Sending my son to kindergarten back in 2013 was a mix of excitement and nerves. He is my first – living and only child (more on that another day), but like many parents, I was caught between the joy of seeing him grow and the pang of letting go. I am not the type to cling, yet I wasn’t in a rush to have him “out of my hair” either.
When we found out that we’d be relocating to Delaware right before his first school year, the thought of Kindergarten in a whole new town made me even more nervous.
Once moved, I enrolled him in a special private school geared for gifted students, on the far side of town. It was a bit nerve-wracking—the area, being new in town, the unknowns of school—but a week in, we met Annie and her son, Jeffrey, and my worries eased. Annie was the kind of friend I hadn’t realized I’d been missing: quirky, fun, and refreshingly down-to-earth. The kids hit it off instantly, and so did we.
In the weeks that followed, we spent every school day together taking the boys to so many great places: the Children’s Museum, Hershey’s, the Science Museum, Herrs, Turkey Hill, Hagley, and Winterthur.
Because of Annie, our new town felt like a glorious adventure!
One afternoon, over some plump calzone in an urban edgy pizza joint that I loved, Annie leaned in and confided, “You’ll probably freak out when I tell you this…” She took a deep breath saying, my best friend was murdered a few months ago. It made national news. Maybe you saw it on TV. Her ex-husband, a well-respected eye doctor here, and his mother kidnapped her kids because of a custody battle a few years ago. They took them to Nicaragua and lived in a camper for two years. “
“They eventually got caught “, she continued. “During the trial, her ex-father-in-law showed up and shot her dead in the courthouse, beside the metal detector. Killed her along with one of the security guards. It was a huge, awful deal. She was the sweetest person, kindest friend, and a wonderful Mom but that family robbed her of all that”
“Oh no this is just terrible! I said with deep sincerity because I couldn’t imagine the pain she must be feeling in retelling the story.
She added, “The FBI got in touch with me recently to let me know that I’m on a hit list put out by my friend’s mother-in-law, the one who kidnapped the kids. They may have engaged in some murder-for-hire deals from jail and because I was a close friend of hers–these crazy people want all of her loved ones dead.
She glanced around the tiny pizza shop, as if suddenly aware of her surroundings. “Don’t worry, though. I keep an eye out. Always. Especially when the kids are around.”
It took me a moment to process what she’d just told me. I glanced around too, almost reflexively.
“Does this…bother you?” she asked quietly, a nervous smile hesitantly forming.
Did it bother me? I took a deep breath, thinking of our frequent outings, the carefree days we’d spent together with the kids these past few months. “Honestly? Maybe a little. But I can’t imagine hiding out at home all the time. We’ll just be careful,” I said, giving her a reassuring smile. She laughed, visibly relieved, and soon we were laughing together again, back to our usual selves. I wasn’t about to hole up at home missing out on the joy of this new friendship and how important our time was for the kids!
A few days later, my son came home with a wheezing cough and it quickly worsened. So scared, we ended up in the ER. They diagnosed him with severe Bronchitis and borderline pneumonia. He was confined to bedrest through that whole next week–the week of Jeffrey’s 6th birthday party.
Annie called to give me some details about Jeffrey’s upcoming birthday party. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said, explaining his illness. “He won’t make it. He’s been really sick and I haven’t had a chance to fill you in.”
There was a long pause on the line. “I see,” she said finally, her voice quiet and different from her usual upbeat tone. “Well… take care.” She hung up before I could say more.
While he was recovering, my son kept bringing up his frustrations with kindergarten. “We don’t have play centers or outside time,” he’d say, teary-eyed. “I have to be quiet all day.” I recalled all the daily stomach aches I had dismissed as nerves. Seeing how distraught and upset he was while telling us all of this, I knew it was more than mere jitters.
My husband and I exchanged concerned looks. He’s just turned five, we thought. This was too much stress for a little boy. So, I arranged a meeting with the school to discuss it. Their classical education model was impressive, sure, but with so much structure and no room for play, it just didn’t seem right. When they brushed off my concerns, I made up my mind: we were pulling him out. It was right at the holidays, a perfect time to transition. We will find a more age-appropriate school.
I tried to call Annie afterward, wanting to explain in person so she’d understand how important this shift was. Not getting an answer, I texted her to share our decision to leave the school.
She never responded—not a word, not even a quick text. In fact, she hadn’t even texted to check on how my son was doing with the Pneumonia. It would have been nice to have a friend to share all this stress with-to commiserate.
She ignored my messages and I never heard from her again. She couldn’t see what was really happening assuming the worst and blindly leaving what could have been an abiding friendship.
As for that evil eye doctor, David Matoosawitz, and his family–they haven’t faired too well. I’m glad to say that justice was served and he is in jail serving a life sentence along with his sister. The scheming, manipulative mother, Lenore Matoosawitz, has since died.
Google them. You won’t be disappointed.
Annie called to give me some details about Jeffrey’s upcoming birthday party. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said, explaining his illness. “He won’t make it. He’s been really sick and I haven’t had a chance to fill you in.”
There was a long pause on the line. “I see,” she said finally, her voice quiet and different from her usual upbeat tone. “Well… take care.” She hung up before I could say more.
While he was recovering, my son kept bringing up his frustrations with kindergarten. “We don’t have play centers or outside time,” he’d say, teary-eyed. “I have to be quiet all day.” I recalled all the daily stomach aches I had dismissed as nerves. Seeing how distraught and upset he was while telling us all of this, I knew it was more than mere jitters.
My husband and I exchanged concerned looks. He’s only five, we thought. This was too much stress for a little boy. So, I arranged a meeting with the school to discuss it. Their classical education model was impressive, sure, but with so much structure and no room for play, it just didn’t seem right. When they brushed off my concerns, I made up my mind: we were pulling him out. It was right at the holidays, a perfect time to transition. We’ll homeschool or find a more age appropriate school.
I tried to call Annie afterward, wanting to explain in person so she’d understand how important this shift was. Not getting an answer, I texted her to share our decision to leave the school.
She never responded—not a word, not even a quick text. In fact, she hadn’t even texted to check on how my son was doing with the Pneumonia. It would have been nice to have a friend to share all this stress with-to commiserate.
She ignored my messages and I never heard from her again.
Months later, I heard through mutual friends that Annie thought I’d cut her off because of the “danger” surrounding her. She thought I’d pulled away out of fear for my son’s safety. The truth was, I never really thought about the risks after that day in the pizza shop. I’d dismissed it, happy to have found a friend and a bit of fun during our family’s transition.
Still, it hurt to think that she’d assumed fear was what drove me away. She and Jeffrey were my first friends in a strange new town, and without them, my son and I might never have had that joyful, whirlwind first semester.
What bothers me the most? This could have been resolved with one simple conversation.
Annie would have found out immediately that I had not cooled on the friendship and that I was clearly interested in our kids growing close. Had I known, I could have eased her fears by demonstrating my care and loyalty.
She wasn’t as good a friend as I’d thought. And that was most disappointing. It forced me to face that my instincts were off.
Then I realized I was not a good friend to her. I lacked a necessary sensitivity! I should have chased her down to explain but instead, I faded off into the shadows with my feelings hurt. Annie had been dealing with trauma! I missed that. She was like a fragile bird– brokenhearted and traumatized.
I’d have loved the opportunity to help her recover from such a loss but it was not meant to be.
It took me a long time to see this clearly.
Friendship requires communication but it also requires a depth of perception and empathy.
As for that evil eye doctor and his family, well they haven’t faired to well. I’m glad to say that justice was served and he is in jail serving a life sentence along with his sister. The scheming, manipulative mother, Lenore, has since died.
Here are a few links to the back story:
David Matusiewicz Now: Where is Christine Belford’s Ex-Husband Today? Update
Landmark Cyberstalking Case Results in Life Sentences for Three Family Members — FBI